YOU THINK YOU HAVE MONEY PROBLEMS!!!
"Due to the downturn in the economy, Alcoholics Anonymous will NO LONGER be dues and membership "Free" as has been the case for almost 75 years. Like many businesses, AA will now be charging for some things that used to be free, such as:
1--Being Rocketed into the 4th Dimension---$49.99 per trip, fuel surcharge applies, extra baggage NOT included. 5th dimension trips optional. See your sponsor for details.
2--Sponsorship--was free, NOW $9.99 per month, with 4 visits/20 phone calls per month free, after that, $2.00 each.
3--Membership Dues now $29.99/month, 10% discount for a 1-year plan.
4--Seating charges--Each seat now $1.00 per meeting, with a 20% discount for the 90-in-90 plan.
5--Pink Cloud was free, NOW $14.99 per cloud, with a $5.00 per event environmental cleanup fee. These are the NEW ozone-free Pink Clouds that do NOT add to global warming.
6--Coffee to be $1.50 per cup, with a 10% discount for 5 or more cups.
7--Hugs now will be $2.50 each.
8--Conscious Contact with GOD now $9.99/month, with the first 450 minutes free, then 0.10 cents/minute fee over. New Double your minutes for life plan is a low $49.99 one time charge. Holidays and weekends extra, see rate schedule, as GOD is VERY busy.
9--Accidental cell phone going off charge now set at $25.00 per episode.
10--"I've been Thinking" fees to now be $3.00 each, with a relapse reentry fee of only $99.99 each, if you're lucky enough to make it back into the rooms.
11-Publication of A.A. Birthdays in Lifeline fees will be $5.00 per 5 years of sobriety. $5.00 for 1 - 5 years, $10 for 5 -10 years, etc.
Please, void where prohibited by law. AA reserves the right to change none, all, or some of these rates at anytime, with no notice to you. If you need a notice of change of rates, a written request may be sent to headquarters in New York, but a $10.00 fee applies.
NOTE: The editor does not accept responsibility for your reaction to this article."
(our thanks to the AA member who sent this in)
But on a more serious note - why not? If you're going to charge for workshops, if you're going to pay for imported US speakers why not extend this to every other service provided by AA. Remember - behind every joke .....
Cheers
The Fellas
